Hello everyone.

2021 was a hell of a year for me.

I had a major depression attack, I collapsed at my workplace, I got COVID-19... I think I just reached the bottom pit in my personal life, or at least that was what I though at that moment.

Then, during the first months of 2022... my best friend died due to COVID-19 complications.

She was interned in a hospital, she rested in the ICU with the breathing supply stuff, for a couple of weeks, this happened when the whole pandemic just started.

But she recovered.

She was feeling better, but stayed in the hospital for about a month or so, until she could go back home.

Then she was able to go back home, to recover at her place. She wanted to do stuff, as she though she was going to die at the hospital when she got the symptoms.

She started to live again.

She started to have a life again.

She even got two doses of the vaccine when they were available.

She seemed to be feeling better.

But sadly, the whole thing made her feel weaker than before.

She was starting to get tired all the time, she couldn't make almost anything without getting hyperventilated.

She was not feeling OK, at all.

She was hoping to feel a bit better and getting the third dose. She wanted it to being able to travel, to take some vacation and recover energy. She needed the third dose to being able to travel off the country. After all, pandemic restrictions were not as strict as they were before. We all wanted her to being able to rest in some cool place, like Greece, or Brazil.

Sadly, a few months ago, she got pneumonia, and it seems having COVID (before the vaccines) made the symptoms worse.

She died due to a respiratory failure.

She was 32 years old.

This just made me so unhappy, so miserable, that I got a huge mental breakdown.

I didn't wanted to live anymore.

This whole thing was so unfair.

I've finally quit my job, I moved out with my older brother and just stopped caring.

For everything.

I just wanted to die.

I took a long hiatus from the social media, I've cut all the links I had with internet people, and of course, left this site with no explanation.

I really didn't care about anything else.

I just wanted to end it all.

My big brother, as always, took care of me for a while. He really ahs the patience of a Saint.

One day, while I was looking at the ceiling, he asked me "what would she think about what you're doing with your life? Do you think she'd be happy about yourself, laying on the bed all day, doing nothing? What would she say to you?".

And then it hit me: I remembered when I got my first mental breakdown last year.

I was thinking about quitting my job, but I didn't wanted to because was my main income. My friend said "You should do what makes you happy. If you want to keep drawing, then draw. The money is not really what matters, but your health is. Quit that damn job and make yourself your art career, if that makes you happy" (it was something like that, I can't remember).

At that moment I didn't quit.

I couldn't. I moved out from my brother's place, started working again and I made few posts about coming back to my social media, to my drawings, to my commissions.

But I still worked there, in that awful place.

I didn't took her advice by then.

And I'm really guilty for not doing that at the moment, when she told me "to do what makes me happy".

Then, she passed out, due to the complications with her pneumonia.

She's not here to tell me what should I do.

She's not here anymore to see that I've finally quit that damn job.

She's not here anymore to see that I want to be happy again.

She couldn't travel and rest, as she wanted to.

She's not here. She won't be here anymore.

It. Hitted. Me.

When she died, I moved in again with my brother, the Saint he is.

He didn't wanted to leave me alone in my mental state.

He thought that I'd kill myself or something. I thought about doing that, but I guess I really can't do it.  I stayed at his place for a while. Then, when it hitted me, I started looking for a new job. I couldn't leave my brother's place without an income. Also i need money for my medication for depression and stuff.

I ended up working at something similar to my older workplace, but the people there is way nicer than my older boss and staff members. Or at least that's how I'm feeling.

I ended up raising enough money to return to therapy and move out from my big brother's place, and went back home.

And here we are now.

I'll be making some changes in this site, but I'll be teling you about them in another post.

Sorry if this whole text is not accurate in the translation, I just needed to tell you all that happened and kept me away from the social media. I wrote everything from my heart and maybe it's all gibberish to you, but it's so painful to remember the whole thing...

I really miss my best friend. It's so unfair.

She was so nice and a beautiful person.

It's just unfair.

I'll love you forever, Ana. May you rest in peace.

See ya around, I'm sorry for being so shitty, all the time.

Cheers.

Hello there.

Sorry the full absence on the last months, I was not feeling OK, I've been experiencing a lot of sleep paralysis, nightmares, feeling anxiety and all of that stuff.

I moved in with my brother until I can go back to my home, that's why I haven't updated, I didn't draw anything. I didn't bring my wacom tablet so I basically I stopped drawing for the last months.

I'm going to therapy to get back on my tracks, but it's not really helping me to overcome my panic attacks. I'm discovering things about myself that I hate, and I don't know if I can change them or become a better person. I guess I have to come into good terms with them, to understand that I might not change, but I can try to make them not a negative thing... I dunno if that makes any sense...

I'm still working at my office, they reduced some of the tiresome tasks I usually do, but I'm still feeling really bad when I work there. The anxiety rises when I'm there.

"Why don't you just quit?" asked my brother a few weeks ago. It's not that simple. I'm a grown man, I cannot take any job now, I'm not young enough to take a new job. That's why I still work there. It helps paying the bills, the medicines, etc.

I will be back on January. I want to make some weekly updates of the missing drawings of the last months, even the ones from 2020 that were skipped due to my health issues, back when they were not as intense as they were this year.

I'm hoping I'll be a better manager of this site during the 2022.

To all of you that supported me even knowing I'm kinda sh1tty to keep on schedule, thank you. To all the old Patrons, and the New ones, the ones that quit and the ones that stayed. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'll be back soon, I promise.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and wishing you all a Happy New Year.

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Hola a todos.

Perdonen por la ausencia total durante los últimos meses, no me estuve sintiendo bien, he estado lidiando con parálisis de sueño, pesadillas, ansiedad y todo ese tipo de cosas.

Me mudé a lo de mi hermano hasta que pueda volver a mi casa a retomar mi vida, es por eso que no han habido updates, no dibujé nada. No me traje mi tableta wacom por eso basicamente dejé de dibujar durante los últimos meses.

Estoy yendo a terapia para tratar de retomar mi ritmo, pero no me está ayudando a suprimir mis ataques de pánico. Estoy descubriendo cosas de mí mismo que odio, y que o sé si alguna vez las podré cambiar o superar para volverme una mejor persona. Supongo que solamente me queda llegar a un acuerdo con ellas, para entender que quizás no las pueda cambiar, pero tratar de hacer que no sean algo negativo... No se si lo que digo tiene algún sentido...

Sigo trabajando en la oficina, me redujeron algunas de las tareas que usualmente hago, pero aún me siento realmente mal cuando trabajo ahí. La ansiedad aumenta cuando voy a trabajar ahí.

"¿Por qué no renunciás y listo?" me preguntó mi hermano hace algunas semanas. No es tan sencillo. Ya soy un tipo grande, no puedo agarrar cualquier nuevo trabajo y ya, Ya no estoy tan joven como para tomar un trabajo nuevo. Por eso sigo trabajando ahí. Me ayuda a pagar las cuentas, las medicaciones, etc.

Voy a volver en Enero. Me gustaría hacer posteos semanales subiendo los dibujos que faltaron en los meses pasado, incluso los que faltan de 2020 que me salteé cuando mi salud empezó a flaquear, aún cuando no era tan intenso como lo fue durante este año.

Espero poder manejar mejor este sitio durante 2022.  

Para todos los que siguieron aportando sus contribuciones aunque saben que soy algo m1erdoso para mantenerme siguiendo un itinerario, gracias. Para todos los Patrons antiguos, para los nuevos, los que renunciaron y los que se quedaron. MUCHÍSIMAS GRACIAS.

Volveré pronto, lo prometo.  

Espero hayan tenido una Feliz Navidad y les deseo a todos un Feliz Año Nuevo.

CHEERS!

Hello everyone.

I collapsed.

I had a mental breakdown during the past weeks.

My work in real life made me so anxious, I needed to stop for a bit, at least, that's what my doctor suggested.

As some of you may know already, I work at an office IRL. The job is really boring and stressful, but it  makes things easier to live day by day.

But during last month, this was painful to my mental health.

Too much obsession, too much pressure, I just couldn't handle it.

I was not feeling ok, I fainted and was taken to the hospital. I spent there a whole week, and I was back home after they said "You are OK now. You can go home", about a couple of weeks ago.

My boss told me to take a break, to spent some of my vacation days to recover. Forced vacations. To being able to return to work as soon as possible.

I've been out of social media, I've been on therapy now, to manage this anxiety problems I have.

I'm coming back to work next week, and I'm coming back to drawing on september too.

There is something about drawing that helps me feel better, but I can't quit my job, I don't have anything else...

I'll try to catch up with everything I owe you from past months, and more.

I'm very sorry for not letting you know early, but I couldn't even log in to the sites. I was so stressed out by everything.

I'm trying to become a better person, a better artist.

Hope you can understand my situation.

Cheers.

Hello there!

Thanks again to all of the favorites, and the new watchers!

I wanted to tell you that I've been really sick for the last two months.

Fortunately is not COVID, not yet at least, but I've been really weak and mostly in bed. I'm taking some medication, but it seems to be having a few side effects on my boday, I'm tired most of the time, it seems I don't rest enough even if I'm mostly sleeping throught the whole day.

I'm expecting to be finishing the treatment in a couple more days, and I hope I'll be better by then.

As soon as I'm back in action, I'll be re-taking the commissions works I owe to some followers, and make some changes in my Patreon page.

Also I need to crack it up a bit, and start uplaoding the rest of the missing drawing from previous months.

Thanks a lot for the support, the patience and the good vibes.

Cheers!

Hello there!

I wanna try out this YCH thingy. I'm in a rush for some extra cash, so I opened a couple of Auctions, if you're interested you can check them out here:

https://ych.art/auction/40575

https://ych.art/auction/40579

I'll be tackling some adoptables and more stuff soon!

Cheers!

Hello there.

Last year I accepted a commission, it was a $30 commission, of a character and a partner, doing the nasty, in two different poses. I was given some references and the desired poses. Fair enough. I was given permission to post the final drawings, the first one on my social media, and the second one as a Patron Exclusive for $15.

Everything was OK until I found out a couple of days ago that the character that I was asked to draw was in fact an avatar. Basically, it's a character that represents a real life person. I didn't knew that, I thought it was a random anime girl, but it ended up being a character used as a persona, as an avatar.

I made a terrible mistake.

I'm totally against drawing RL people or avatars depicting RL people doing this kind of stuff, so I'm really, really sorry for doing it without making any previous research. I just took the word of my client and drew her based on the references, not thinking for a second that it was a real person, or at least a depiction of a real person.

I'm really ashamed, and I promise I'll do more research in the future, to avoid this kind of misunderstandings.

To the real girl behind that avatar: If you have come across my drawing, I'm really sorry, I apologize for soing that, but I ddin't knew, really. Never meant to do any harm. My sincere apologies. I promise this won't happen again.

The original images have been removed and I re-drew the poses with another character, this time a fictional one.

Hope you can understand.

Cheers.

Due to the known situation that we're having worldwide, my RL job is demanding more time and effort than before, even if I'm working remotely.

That's why I couldn't finish the Liz Bandicoot image yet. I expect to be updating the drawing by the weekend.

I'm very sorry for the inconvenient.

Cheers!

Hello there!

I'll be opening some commissions slots in April!

I'll be updating the rules and stuff soon!

Cheers!